Women Dating

Women Dating

MY BOYFRIENDS HAD TO LEARN THE YW THEME

In case you didn't know, I'm LDS a.k.a Mormon. You can learn more about that here. But in our church, we have a program for the teenage girls called Young Women. In this program we have leaders that teach and guide us, fun activities that teach us good values, and projects to work on to reach goals. And we have a motto. This motto (known as "the theme" to us LDS girls) has been drilled into my head as we stood up to say it each week in class. We were taught to memorize it and really understand it's meaning. Well. Here ya go.

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us and we love Him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times, in all things, and in all places as we strive to live the Young Women values which are: faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity and virtue. We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

Each week we recited that theme as a group of young girls. And it stuck with me. But for me, there was much more importance to this theme than just what I would learn from it. My dad had this rule with us daughters. First, we weren't allowed to date until we were 16 (something I may elaborate on later) and second, the boys we dated had to memorize the Young Women theme. And when I turned 16 and began to date I HATED this rule.

Getting asked out by boys I liked was hard enough, but telling them they have to memorize a giant thing that didn't even matter to them was embarrassing. It was like they were doing me a favor by dating me and I was requiring them to do an even bigger favor in return. At first I avoided it. I would "forget" to tell the guy so when he showed up at my door, my parents ready to here the theme, he had a valid excuse for not being prepared.

But then as I dated more, having the recognition of someone being my boyfriend was important. I wanted my parents to understand that we were dating. But the only way I could really make it official was if the boy presented the theme to my parents. So from then on, as soon as I started talking to boys I would tell them about this rule my parents had and made it very clear that if they wanted to date me, they had to do it.

It was never really clear if the boy had to have it completely memorized and had to do it for both my mom and my dad. So then it became a test. How seriously would they take the assignment? Would they memorize it word for word? Would they read it off? Would they do it for both parents? Would they just do it for me? Would they try to understand what it meant or would they check off that they had done it and never look back? But either way, all the boys did it in their own way and understood that it was important to me and my parents.One boy I dated took it very seriously. He liked me very much and wanted to make a good impression on my parents. So he was careful to memorize it and would call me up to practice. And with all the studying and practicing, he really took in what it meant. This boy was not a member of my faith. But from learning the theme, he understood what my faith meant to me and the things I would and would not do. He understood my goals and my values. And from then on, he really took an invested interest in my beliefs. We dated for a while and in that time, we both learned a lot about each other's religions. It was an amazing experience, but then life happened and we parted ways.

Later on there was another boy I was interested in. He was funny and cute and we had a lot in common. And as we became more serious, I told him about the "assignment" he would have to complete to date me. His reaction- "Are you serious?? You're kidding, right?" And I was shocked! I had never gotten this reaction from someone. So I took some time to think about this boy and what I wanted with him.

He didn't care enough about me to respect this family rule/tradition we had. He didn't care enough about me to put in a little work to prove that he was good enough for me. He didn't care enough about me to even hide his initial feelings and save me from embarrassment. I quickly realized this, and the boy and I stopped what we were doing and nothing ever happened between us.

It took me up until that point to realize just how important this was in my life. My parents rules were actually for my good. I've never really asked them about it, but I suspect it was their way of weeding out the lazy guys and the guys that didn't take any interest in my beliefs  It was their way of introducing my standards and values to the boys I dated. It was their way of protecting me from boys that would hurt me with their lack of respect for me and my beliefs.When I went off to college it wasn't really the rule anymore. I could make my own decisions. And I never dated anyone seriously enough for me to want them to call my dad to recite it to him. Until Josh. I immediately wanted them to know the great man I was dating.So Josh spent time memorizing the theme and one evening, without even telling me of his plan, he called up my dad and told him that he was dating his daughter and that he had something to tell him. He recited the theme to him, only switching 2 words. I had no idea this happened until after my dad called me to tell me how impressed he was.
I plan on using this rule with our daughters. I want our daughters to understand what I understand now. I want the boys they date to know what is important and how my daughters will be treated. I want everyone to know that my daughters are daughters of a King and that their goal is to return to Him.

Source article:http://www.lovethegrows.com/2012/12/my-boyfriends-had-to-learn-yw-theme.html